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Message from Pastor Matthew Marohl

The ‘look’ of hospitality

By Pastor Matthew Marohl

Less than 100 years ago, an anonymous book was published with the title Every Woman’s Luck Book. In this interesting little volume, many pages are devoted to the art of physiognomics. That is certainly not a word that we use very often, but perhaps it is a practice with which we are familiar.

Physiognomics begins with the assumption that a person’s looks reveal the ethical traits of the individual. For example, what do your eyes or chin or ears reveal about you? We may laugh at some of the observations made in this book. For example, if an individual has a bump above one eye, it is the bump of music. Readers are informed that this bump “obviously stands for love of all things musical… if you have this bump nicely developed you are exceedingly quick at learning to play most musical instruments, and will seldom grudge time for practice.”

In fact, the entire head is mapped out with bumps of invention, judgment, argument, humor, beauty, generosity, and a host of others. There is even a bump of love! The author explains that “here is a most important bump — the bump of love, which is situated at the base of the skull, where it joins the backbone. Well in evidence, but not too large, it shows that you are capable of the truest kind of love, deep and lasting, and willing to make any sacrifices for the loved one.”

This practice is not new. In the ancient world of the Bible, physical descriptions and their corresponding ethical traits were greatly emphasized. High voices were thought to indicate an angry or annoyed person. A low voice meant that the individual has an easy temperament. Baldness was the mark of piety. Soft hair showed timidity and stiff hair courage. A male with a large, “hooked” nose was handsome and virtuous. Bowleggedness was a sign of strength and power. Eyebrows that meet in the middle suggest either beauty or manliness. A bowlegged man with coarse, stiff hair, a large nose, and a very pronounced “uni-brow” was certainly a great catch!

Have fun with me for a moment and entertain this simple thought: What is the look of hospitality? I do not mean, of course, that there is a physical trait that signals the hospitable from the inhospitable. There isn’t a “hospitality bump” on our heads. Hospitality does not depend on one’s eyebrows or hairstyle. But we all know instinctively that hospitality has a look. We know the moment we enter a room if we are being welcomed into that space. For example, we have had both positive and negative experiences while shopping. We have been made to feel important and valuable and wanted and included. We have also been made to feel insignificant and out-of-place, unwanted and excluded. A salesperson shapes our whole experience in the first minutes inside the store. Inviting words and a smile can make us stay and encourage us to spend. Of course, the opposite is also true.

So, what does hospitality look like at St Paul? We are a community that truly values warmth and inclusivity. We strive to be a welcoming church where all people can praise God and make important connections with others. But this does not “just happen.” Hospitality must be intentional. Just like a positive shopping experience begins with the intentionality of a salesperson, a positive worship experience must be rooted in the intentional hospitality of every worshiper.

Hospitality does have a look. Hospitality is knowing people by name. Hospitality is a smile, a handshake. Hospitality is both sharing of ourselves and embracing others. Hospitality is reaching out to those who we notice may feel alone. The more involved that we all become in the intentional mission of hospitality, the more we are apt to feel a deeper connection with each other and with God.

Now, I am going to go check my head for bumps.

Pastor Matthew Marohl,

Joan Chittister on hospitality

Hospitality means we take people into the space that is our lives and our minds and our hearts and our work and our efforts. Hospitality is the way we come out of ourselves. It is the first step toward dismantling the barriers of the world. — Joan Chittister is coming to St. Paul on Oct. 23, 2011

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