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Paying Special Attention

Soon-to-be high school grad Mickey Herman may not be acquainted with Augustine of Hippo. He’s connected with his swim teammates, his camp friends, a St. Paul classroom of third-graders, his family, and so many others that he’s yet to meet — not some ancient Christian church father of the First Century.

But here’s what Augustine had to say: “Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by the accidents of time, or place, or circumstances, are brought into closer connection with you.”

Mickey, who just celebrated his 18th birthday, has a distinguishing characteristic. When he shakes your hand, he tunes in closely with his eyes. “You can communicate by looking people in the eyes and feeling a deeper connection,” says he. “At one point, it was probably practiced,” this knack for connecting eye-to-eye. “Now it’s natural.”

“Pay special attention to those brought into closer connection with you.” That’s surely a watchword for the shape of Mickey’s young life.

Mickey was a fourth-grader when his parents Heidi and Bob moved from Lexington, Kentucky, to the Quad Cities on a Deere transfer. First enrolled in Rivermont Collegiate in Bettendorf, he thrived in small classrooms. But by high school, he decided he’d “rather meet 1,600 people instead of 100. I like being around people. I like to have my own time, but I get energy from being with friends, bouncing ideas off other people.”

The halls and classrooms of Davenport’s Central High School became Mickey’s connecting ground. He loves it. “I’ve spent four years in one building with people who are really close-knit friends. I can walk down the hall and see teachers, and stop in and talk.”

Mickey has honed his leadership skills on the Student Council, which is responsible for Central’s role in the annual Student Hunger Drive of the Quad Cities. The drive culminated with students delivering an “entire semi,” stuffed with tonnage of canned goods, to the Riverbend Foodbank. For Mickey, “it was incredible to see how our work moved the directors, and it made us realize how it’s helping people.”

Mickey’s day began at 5 a.m. during the swim season. A sprint freestyler, he has twice gotten to cheer teammates in state competition. “You develop a lot of team camaraderie when you’re together six hours a day outside of school,” he says. “Every day, it was swim, school, swim, pasta.” High-carbohydrate meals, he’s convinced, have as much to do with bonding teammates together as with building endurance.

In his junior and senior years, Mickey has spent Sunday mornings in a classroom of St. Paul third-graders. “I love it. They surprise me with what they know but they’re also willing to learn. They ask questions. They’re rambunctious. I want to facilitate their learning, not be the teacher.”

For Mickey, whether it’s winter swimming, spring tennis, or teaching kids about faith, “it’s not always about winning or coming out on top.” It’s all about the enjoyment of togetherness and learning.

Breast cancer has been a teacher for Mickey, too. While he was growing up, his mom Heidi twice struggled with the disease. Chemotherapy and sick-ness were ominous intruders in family life. “It was tough at times. I wanted my mom to be there for me, and instead I’ve needed to be there for her. But we have been incredibly blessed that she has done so well.” In tough times, “you learn responsibility for yourself, to help out where needed, to fill in the gap.”

Since middle school, Mickey has “always wanted to be a lawyer. I love to write and research, to find out things, to write a paper to inform other people.” English and history have been his great loves in high school. “Attorneys write a lot. It’s detailed, but not concrete like math. There’s not one right answer but the law is up to interpretation. I love analyzing. I can see myself being a lawyer”­— like his mom.

In a few months, Mickey will pack up for Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. He’s ready. For nine years, he has practiced leaving home each summer. His parents would load a trunk and ship it to Falling Creek, a boys camp in the forested mountains of North Carolina. There Mickey built lifelong friendships. He learned responsibility for himself, cared for other people, and found a life grounded in Christian values. “It has been my most formative experience,” he says.

“I know some people who are nervous to go to college,” reflects Mickey. “But I’ll take with me everything my family has taught me about being a young man and a person in society.”

He will take with him, too, this Davenport church. “Confirmation and Faith Trek and Kingdom Kidz. All of these have taught me to be a good person, to look out for those you can see and for God as well, to show the kind of compassion that you have been shown.”

During these years, you can count on finding Mickey, his mom, his sister Rachael, and his grandmother Marilyn Beeker in the second pew every Sunday. (Mickey’s father has brought Jewish tradition, not to mention a love for fried matzo, to family life.)

“Every single one of the pastors has left a mark on me,” reflects Mickey. “St. Paul has been an excellent place to grow in faith and to grow up. ”

This summer, Mickey is likely to be the one scooping your ice cream behind the counter at Whitey’s on 53rd Street. Come August, he’ll be on his way to new connections. “Everyone will be coming from somewhere,” he says. “We’ll all be away from home.”

Mickey will be mindful of the people who, because of the selection of a university in North Carolina, will be bound up in the next phase of his life.

Blessings on the journey, Mickey.

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"To believe the Bible means becoming Biblical people, to begin to live what the Bible is telling us." ~Jim Wallis