Finding joy in the next phase

When Lisa Holdorf dropped her daughter Ellie off at Iowa State University (ISU) this past fall for her freshman year of college, she braced herself for the wave of emotion everyone warned her about.

“My friends thought I was going to be a basketcase,” Lisa said. “Ellie’s our life. She was a three-sport athlete. Our days were filled with sports tournaments practices. But, dropping Ellie off at college, we were just so excited and proud of her.”

Lisa did her homework. She found The Midlife Momma podcast, a faith-based series exploring everything from empty nesters to holiday changes and beyond.

For Lisa and her husband Jason, the fall football season provided a bridge into this new chapter. The family had season tickets to ISU games, bringing them to Ames on gamedays.

“It was great to see Ellie and her friends,” Jason said. “It was a comfortable transition into this next phase of life.”

With Ellie gone, Jason and Lisa have reimagined their own routines. They’re taking exercise classes together at the YMCA. Jason started making sourdough bread. Jason’s work has expanded to include more travel, and Lisa’s part-time remote job allows for her to join him, offering the couple newfound flexibility.

“As empty nesters, it’s been important for us to create those activities that you can expand on and fill those time gaps as a couple,” Jason said.

Faith has anchored them through the shift. They’ve attended church with Ellie at ISU, watching her explore her own spiritual path.

“Ellie has not been afraid to change and mature spiritually. It’s been cool to walk with her on that path,” said Jason.

For Lisa, knowing other families facing the same transition has been essential. Several of their friends have children who started college this year.

“When you have that community of friends going through the same thing, that makes it a lot easier,” Jason said.

Lisa’s advice to those approaching this milestone?

“There’s no wrong way to do an empty nest,” she said. “Instead of comparing—these people are doing this and these are doing this—we all do it differently. We can celebrate these transitions together.”

Adult milestone ministry 

Recognizing that faith continues to evolve after youth group ends, St. Paul is launching an adult milestone ministry.

“We have this robust children’s milestone ministry, but faith doesn’t stop growing or changing when you graduate high school,” said Katy Warren.

The church will host two milestone events in early 2026, beginning with empty nesters and expanding to recent retirees.

“These are milestones we’ve had more conversations about recently,” Katy said. “They are both life-altering and significant in different ways.”

The empty nester gathering creates space for parents to connect, share stories, and reflect on how this transition shapes their faith.

“What I hear over and over is, ‘Does everyone else feel like this? Am I crazy for feeling this way?’” Katy said. “These milestones are a way to walk through these life changes together.”

The hope is to expand the ministry to other adult transitions in the future—graduating from college, starting a first job, and becoming a parent are just a few.

Empty Nester Milestone
Tuesday, Jan. 27, 6:30-8 p.m.
If your child has left for college or post-secondary life within the past 3 years, join other parents for conversation, connection and faith-based reflection. Snacks provided. Contact Katy Warren at katy@stpaulqc.org.

Save the Date: Recent Retirees milestone, Tuesday, April 14, 10 a.m.