Mud-covered glasses
I want to share with you all two things that are true about me.
- I have worn glasses for about 40 of my 41 years of life.
- I have never been good at cleaning my glasses.
You’d think that I would value a clear lens to view the world through, but I haven’t. Honestly, it never bothered me to have smudges on my left lens. Little did I realize that my lack of clean glasses drove my mother crazy for 18 years and has now driven my wife crazy for the last 19.
I have grown accustomed to seeing the world through smudgy glasses.
When I was in seminary, in a class on pastoral care and counseling, we learned how to talk with couples preparing for marriage. We were taught about idealistic distortion, the reality that people tend to view their relationships with a bias that is overly positive and perfect. This tendency is referred to as “rose-colored glasses” and illustrates how people minimize differences, challenges, and disagreements because their love for the person prevents them from seeing things as they are. Our job as pastors in these situations was to help couples remove the rose-colored glasses, to be more realistic.
I was introduced to another glasses analogy this week that intrigues me. Not smudgy glasses, not rose-colored glasses, but mud-covered glasses. I’m sure you have all met someone wearing mud-covered glasses. Nothing in the world is good, no person is upstanding or honest, everyone lies, the proverbial “they” are always out to get you. People wearing mud-covered glasses always find what is wrong, never seeing the good in anything.
These people with mud-covered glasses can also be called the chronically cynical. They believe that all people, at their core, are selfish and will thus see the world in largely negative terms. Everyone is out to get you, to take things from you, to only prosper themselves.
On occasion, I think it’s natural for us all to have these moments, but when those cynical thoughts constantly occupy your mind, you will start to realize that you become more and more unable to see the good in others. Cynicism breeds cynicism until nobody is able to see the good in anything or anybody.
I like to follow a leadership consultant out of Minnesota named David Larson. He had this to say the other day in his daily social media post, “the bad news is that you can’t stop other people from being unkind. The good news is that they can’t stop you from being kind.”
I wonder sometimes if we as a society have lost the ability to differentiate ourselves from the hate and vitriol around us, even if we don’t like what we see. Too many in our communities have put on those mud-covered glasses and are simply unable to see the good in anything, even themselves.
Somehow, I hope that all of us can move beyond the cycles of cynicism and instead start to see a world that God loves, people whose lungs are full of the breath of God, and people who are fighting their own issues, pasts, and false notions of the world around them. If we can start seeing the good in people, we may just find ourselves a little bit happier too.
Our lives are hard enough without being overcome by hatred and fear. So, keep finding the joy and delight, but also keep in mind that those around you who are wearing those mud-covered glasses probably don’t know how to take them off or clean them. You may have to help show them a better way.
Sarah Thomas
This is very good article on human behavior! Thank you.
Tom Dryg
Very nice. Appreciate your insights. An attitude of gratitude makes a big difference. I need to go back and start my days with three things I am grateful for. Gotten away from that.
Karen Rathje
In the current political climate it is especially important to actually “see” the wonder and beauty that is all around us. The first thing I do every morning is take my dog outside, the second thing I do is appreciate the beautiful world we live in and celebrate my good fortune to be alive.
Deb Lamp
Good thoughts and very true. I learned a long time ago that there is something good in everything. We may have to look for it but it is there. Thank you